This is the story of how I made Jake Gyllenhaal coffee and
he told me it was great.
No words have held more beauty in the English
language.
The Prisoners movie was being filmed at the office I worked.
My boss, knowing how much I am obsessed with Jake Gyllenhaal, let me have a VIP
status for when they shot the film. Apparently, Jake was playing a surly
detective with the agenda of saving Hugh Jackman’s child from the pallid and
Nietschze-driven teen actor most recognized from Little Miss Sunshine. I watched two
action scenes play out, and afterwards, I was able to do a photo-op with Jake. I offered
him some French press coffee (yes, I am the caffeine junkie in the office that keeps a
Bodum underneath my desk) and he said yes (as did the director). My heart soared, and I was in a dopamine-ridden state of bliss.
Once I presented
them with the coffee, I scurried off (so I wouldn’t make a complete arse of myself),
and I hid behind the makeshift wall of the office's warehouse. I heard Jake say, “This
coffee’s great,” and I beamed. “This coffee’s great,” will probably be the name of my firstborn or tattooed
onto my ankle with a butterfly soaring across it. Here is a picture for my handful of readers
to writhe in jealousy. So remember readers, love and appreciate your French Press, because one day
you might be able to meet Jake Gyllenhaal, and he will
recognize your existence and say you make amazing coffee.
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| Note: Jake is a character actor and likes to stay in character whenever he's filming. Hopefully, this is the reason why he looks like he's about to punch the camera. |
